Wisconsin Rainbow Families

[1of2mommies]

After a recent party for a neighborhood child's 3rd birthday, (with whom, we have become friends with the child's parents) my partner and I discussed and processed the feeling and environment at the party. During the party, we were the only same-gender couple with a child in attendance, we felt an enormous pressure to some how read our child's mind and know if he too felt the moments of uncomfortability, silence, and even seperation brought on by others. We felt that we led by example by engaging with others, involving ourselves and him into the festivities, as well as being proud of who we are...and yet there was our own worries about how he felt.

We have always discussed and provided a variety of models for education, contact, and socialization with all types of people and families and felt that we somehow put our son on the spot to learn "through" other people's perceptions of our family. We are aware that we may have felt an exaggerated emotion regarding this situation but are seeking advice or feedback from others in how to respond in settings where "a friend of a friend/neighbor" may not react to our family as supportively as hoped. Most importantly, how/when to address that with our child. This is especially tricky as we do not want to teach our four year old to feel that if other people are uncomfortable, that he doesn't belong or to be alienated by other's judgements.

Open to suggestions.

1of2mommies

[Brendan]

Hello 2 Mommies-

First I would like to apologize for the lack of response to your question. The Wisconsin Rainbow Families Message board is not monitored by anyone on the Production Committee and I personally have not checked messages in a while. The whole idea of the Message Board is for anyone that can share a thought or idea to comment. What I have seen is there are people who check, but do very little with posts.

As for your question. My partner and I live in Waukesha and have Twin 6year old girls. When we were first introducing our family to school, church, neighbor, I too felt a little nervous about what people might say or how they may react. I have found that people are more accepting than I originally thought would be. We have made good friends through school, church and the neighborhood. Not everyone is going to understand our lifestyle, but most people will not verbally attack a child. We have had no times where our girls have ever felt uncomfortable.

I hope this helps some. I think you have every right to feel the way you do. Keep your ears and eyes open and if something comes up and you need some advice, there are plenty of people that have gone thru it here to help.

Good Luck,
Brendan

[mialove78]

I agree with her but we are definitely realizing how important it is to have interactions with other families like ours. In Baton Rouge, we have found lots of families and Mia(almost 4) definitely appreciates the fact that she has friends with 2 moms. And she realizes that her family is different. Which sometimes feels so sad to me. We decided to only move to an area where there is plenty of other families.